The arena of Men's Issues is a unique area of specialization for me. The field focuses on the culture of men and ways in which men and women are socialized differently. Taking a closer look at Men's Issues sheds light on the cultural dissonance between genders that has biological and cultural variables.
My goal is to help men in Westchester County and Putnam County better understand their own needs and feelings and engage in healthy satisfying relationships.
Men's issues include ideas about the following areas:
Generally speaking, men's culture values independence and freedom to a much greater degree than woman's culture. Men are much more likely to feel devoured by intimacy. My work in Westchester County helps men address issues around sexuality and monogamy as well " what it means to be a man".
- Masculinity and gender roles
- Difficulty achieving intimacy and the need for intimacy
- Conflicting feelings about your partner
- Identity issues far deeper than "male" versus "female"
- Establishing and respecting boundaries.
I help men identify ways they are replicating the relationships they had with their families in their present relationships.
Just before moving to Westchester, I once counseled a man because he cheated on his wife. It turned out that his mother had been mentally ill and he married a very similar woman. He cheated to passively sabotage an unhealthy relationship. In addition, he had such a need to be liked that he prevented himself from setting effective boundaries with anyone...he was constantly being abused. Purpose-Driven Therapy helped him gain insight about his family of origin and poor self-image. When he learned to stand up to people, his whole life turned around. He now has a successful business and a loving, healthy relationship with his wife.
Purpose-Driven Therapy helps men identify the ideal relationship and partner they want and set measurable goals to make this a reality. Cognitive-behavioral interventions that are measurable and incremental are utilized lower sensitivity to situations that cause anxiety. PDT is psychodynamics in that it utilizes an object relations perspective to identify problems and traumas in a persons family of origin and to help clients gain insight to stop repetitive negative patterns.